Papua New Guinea

Papua New Guinea… to start, a little background.

On half of the island of New Guinea is Papua New Guinea the other half is part of Indonesia called Irian Jaya, now called West Papua. Back in the day of sail boats and Shoguns the area was called the Dutch East Indies; some parts were called the Spice Islands. It was originally “settled” by the Dutch and some German. Mt. Wilhelm will attest to that but I’m sure the locals have a different name for it. After World War II Australia took receivership and managed it until 1975 when they became independent.

The Dutch started plantations to farm Palm Oil, Coconuts and sugar cane and whatever else they could grow and sell. Then they found gold and other minerals and now oil and natural gas. As if things weren’t bad enough. The Dutch enslaved the locals as western countries at the time often did, the Australians weren’t much better. They had strong men that came around and kept order beating the hell out of the locals if they got out of line. One thing that can be said about that is that it did keep order. With over 800 different indigenous languages and tribes, many not far from the Stone Age, I can see their thinking. With the majority of the population earning $1.25/day theft is a way of life. As with many tribal societies… attack, butcher and steal is just another method of hunting and gathering.

World War II was fought on many of the islands here; the battle of the Coral Sea was fought nearby. A bloody fight for the Australians made Kokoda Trail and the fuzzy wuzzys famous. They still find crashed aircraft in the jungle, not long ago one was found near the capital with the crew’s remains still in it. Amelia Earhart was last seen leaving Lae, a WWII refuel depot. I met a local the first time I was here, 15yrs ago now; he said he’d rather eat the Japanese because white guys were too salty. Good to know.

Much of the coastal areas have had contact with the outside world for ages and have become more civilized. In the more remote areas, not so much. It is still reasonably common to hear of tribal skirmishes. Ten years ago it was bush knives and bows and arrows now axes and knives are still common but more and more it is becoming fire arms of one kind or another. Our biggest problem with theft is fuel, gaskets out of fuel hoses that they use for arm band or in their hair, and other small items. Of course, electronics are also nice too. I saw a guy walking down the road the other day with headphones on that were decorated with feathers and bits of grass. There was no cord on it nor did he have an MP3 player or anything to hook it to but apparently he thought he was the height of fashion.

The geography can be split into the highlands and the lowlands… clever enough. Ages ago in the Mezeowachingus era the Pacific plate jammed itself under its neighbor and created a huge ridge line… the crack opened up the area for volcanoes and viola… big honking mountains. I was at a rig sight a few years ago where this was obvious to the most casual observer. A nice gentle slope, broke to a steep cliff and the whole range looked like someone had pushed up ice in a driveway so that the steps and ridges were all visible. At the rig site there were shells and fossil all over the ground and this was around 2000ft. It was pretty interesting to wander around to see what you could find.

Apparently the sea floor is limestone because that is most of what the highlands are made of. Limestone isn’t especially durable, you can watch erosion here, buried water lines become uncovered in a few years, roads don’t hold up, gravel jobs wear out quickly and pot hole are epic. The plundering of the country doesn’t allow much outlay for infrastructure so there are few roads, fewer that are paved none that are reasonably maintained; airstrips are generally dirt or gravel and the most common mode of travel save foot or boat.

The population is Melanesian, a black Pacific race that populates the region from New Guinea in the west to Fiji to the south east. If I had to guess I would suspect that Polynesians came from Melanesian and Asia ancestors. The geography has isolated many tribes so that to this day there are some that haven’t seen white people and there are still rumors of cannibalism. I should note that cannibalism isn’t generally a food source but generally a superstitious belief of either keeping ancestors close or consuming an enemy’s power. Last tour a man was arrested for eating his toddler age step-child in a rumored witchcraft ceremony. He was obviously deranged but it goes to say something about superstitions here. Another village we stayed at we were warned to stay away from a certain tree because demons lived there.

Many airstrips were built by missions and missionaries. The Seventh Day Adventists seem to be the most common currently but there are also Mormons, Jehovah’s Witness and other mainstream religions. The country is predominantly Christian to one degree or another.

Flora is jungle. If you’ve ever seen jungle there isn’t much way of describing it to those that haven’t seen it. Starting from the top… trees, in the trees vines, on the ground more vines and shrubs, on everything mold or moss and everything is wet and every square inch is cover or will be soon. The mountains do get high enough for frost and snow; there is the only glacier in the South Pacific in Irian Jaya. I don’t know what grows up there.

Fauna includes some unique to Papua New Guinea, the Cassowary… a prehistoric bird about the size of an emu but having a bony ridge running down the top of its head. I believe the Bird of Paradise is also unique to PNG too and rare these days. We also have wild cockatoo’s, parrots, a bird they call a pigeon that is about the size of a chicken or duck. There is a tree kangaroo, or possum or cuscus depending on who you ask. Snakes… certainly have snakes. There is the Papuan Black, Brown and probably a few other colors. There is the Death Adder, Boa’s, tree snakes of different varieties. If you ask a local they are all deadly poisonous and commonly called the two steps… two steps and you’re dead. It’s not as bad as all that. The Death Adder certainly will do a number on you as will the Papuan Black and Tai Pan… not sure about the others, certainly not the boa. The death adder is interesting because it is sausage shaped and has a tiny thin tail that has spines on it that was rumored to be poisonous as well but isn’t the case.

Papua New Guinea is an interesting place really. The limestone erodes quickly like I said before and all the rain makes for land bridges and sink holes; rives will take crazy paths and sometimes disappear into the ground to come out miles out to sea. The ground is riddled with caves and underground streams. Rivers create great chasms between incredibly steep mountains. The wet season is signaled by rain firstly and the Forest Flame that burst into bloom.

The people, while primitive and often combative, laugh easily and quickly, are generally friendly after their suspicions are won over and ingenious in their use of the jungles around them. They are mostly the reason it is called “The Land of the unexpected?” Our cooks have mastered garnish; parsley or green onions as garnish to pineapple is pretty unexpected; women nursing pigs is pretty unexpected; stealing our gaskets and wearing them in their hair and arms is pretty unexpected; body odor, the norm… shocking with even the women.

If anyone wants to go… book a tour. It is still rather dangerous for single person travel most especially women. There is some amazing fishing too, for the adventurous. It is certainly off the beat

It’s a silly job but someone has to do it.

Trip into Papua New Guinea

I left off in Cairns, probably a little harsh on the place but a lot of it's luster has worn off for me as has a good deal of Australia but... see for yourself, this is just one man's view after all.

So today I'll try to take you into the "Land of the Unexpected." Sounds nice doesn't it? I can certainly say it is unlike anyplace else I've ever been.

The flight from Cairns is relatively uneventful most of the time. I mean I haven't had to have to swim for it yet, so that's always good. The flight is on a de Havilland Dash 8... a twin engine rickety thing that holds about 37 passengers or so depending how you stack them and apparently requires little maintenance and almost no cleaning at least I assume this to be true because they don't generally get much on the charter we fly in on. Amazing the amount of body odor that can be fit in such a small aircraft. This is the first "taste" of Papua New Guinea. The next taste is the inflight meal. For four years we had soggy sandwich fingers... one bit was salami, butter and tomato, the other bit was curried egg. For some reason I generally ate it. This year it is cold chicken with pasta salad and a bit of lettuce and a roll with butter. It's bland as hell but a step up in my book. I've found that while working over here and knowing how fast plans can change I always try to eat my meals... sometimes you don't get the next one and there aren't any stores where you can pick up something to tide you over. No snacks in the room unless an apple happens your way and you've saved it and the ants haven't gotten to it. Sometimes even if the ants haven't eaten too much its still an option.

The first hint that you have that you are getting close, unless you are timing the flight, is the engines start to slow. Most of the jungle below you either looks all the same or is covered in clouds. Then the pilot comes over the intercom and tells the flight crew to prepare for arrival. Some of the things that run through my mind are..." What? I still can't see the ground. There are mountains around here. I hope the fool knows what he's doing." "Ok, the landing gear just came down and I still don't see the ground, we must really be close to the mountains now." Turbulence..." I hope they haven't found any serious corrosion in the last few inspections because those wing are really moving out there." "Wheww there's the ground... good over the lake, now as long as there aren't any ground bursts we won't have to swim for it." " At least there aren't any mountains over the lake, I think I rather swim for it. If we survive the crash that is." Next landing. One hit... two hits... slowing now... ok on the ground.... whoaa... "I didn't thing here was any wind why are we fish tailing like this." "Ok... now I think we're safe this time. I must remember to make a will one of these days."

I'm not really prone to panic but I've had a few somewhat close calls in airplanes and helicopters over the years and I DO NOT like turbulence any more and I'm not all that trusting of pilots or ground crews in third world countries.
Now this is the newest way of coming to work. In the past I've cleared customs on the hood of a truck in Daru, flown with dead bodies and produce. I've flown all day with nothing to eat but a couple cookies and a small glass of OJ... met kids so full of worms that their guts are extended and hair has gone white from malnutrition and all sorts of the "unexpected".
(next installment PNG it's self)

Preface

It has been suggested that I live an amazing and interesting life. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When you are in the life it doesn't seem all that out of the ordinary. I get up I go to work, have lunch sometimes dinner and back to work. Not that big of a deal really. I suppose most of you probably know this all happens on the other side of the globe.
I guess I should start at the beginning. My commute is of course the most logical start to my work. I make my way to the wilds of Australia first. I say wilds because to me they are pretty uncivilized in comparison to the hoopla the media puts out and they have bought into during the most recent years. I suppose if one would discount the developments in the world at since the latest movie was put out about Australia circa 1940ish… they’ve made leaps and bounds. The still can’t make a decent café mocha and they have Starbucks for god’s sake… the Indonesians make a better cup of coffee using tide water and an old sock, but the Aussies haven’t managed it with any degree of regularity.

I remember playing on the “internet” when I got out of the military in ’92… you had to dial up some outfit, generally long distance and download a program (generally porn) from a “BBS”. An Australian internet service is a bit better than that and certainly more expensive and only barely less complicated and only available in some hotels. What???!!!! Yes, Virginia… in 2011 internet is only available in some middle to upper class hotels even in Sydney.

Customer service is an absolute absurdity in Australia. I blame it on their communist belief that a worker should get paid the prevailing wage regardless of tips. What a load of bullocks. An English emigrant to Australia, a friend of mine, went into a Triumph dealership. He had done is research, looked around on the internet decided what he wanted and where to get it. He asks the “salesman” behind the counter… “Do you have the black Triumph Daytona that you had in the ad?” Simple question I should think… nothing about any particularity about any motorcycle that they may not sell, no questions about anything too technical. “Oh dunno, mate. Maybe.” Pause… Pommie… “could you check?”… Aussie… “yea… spose I could… you looking to buy one?” Irritated Pommie… “yea, that’s why I came to a dealership.” “oh… no need to get your panties in a twist.” Angry Pommie…”If you happen to find it in the next week or so and it is as advertised, give me a call and I’ll buy it. I have cash.” Aussie… “right mate, I’ll give you a call.” The Pommie walks out muttering on his breath and buys the next one… in a color he didn’t want from a guy 300miles away that he found the next weekend. He never heard back from the “dealership”.

Australia does have clean drinking water most everywhere you go… not sure about Darwin, that place is a bit of a pit. The food is bland as hell but mostly safe to eat. Kabobs are always a bit suspect.

So I arrive after 26hrs of planes and airports to the hot, muggy and coffee challenged Australia. From Sydney I continue on to Cairns (pronounced Cans... not sure why) to rest and recuperate from the tortures, injustices and humiliations that should be illegal that are imposed on us by the airline industry.

Cairns is in Tropical North Queensland and just about as liberal as liberal can be without being completely uncivilized about it. It was founded to service the gold mines in the area then the sugar cane and other tropical agricultural products. It has since been taken nearly completely over by back packers or smelly, poverty stricken inconsiderate hippies as I like to call them. It is also a deserving destination for diving the Great Barrier Reef, if you have the coin and desire to see colorful fish and things that you didn’t see someplace else because I mean, they are fish and not that terribly uncommon after all. Cairns from the air looks like a beautiful place and I suppose that it is in its tropical way. Bear in mind that the tropics aren’t all that great... bug and fungus of every sort not to mention the diseases. But yes... Virginia it is warm and sunny when it's not raining and hot and steamy when it is. I have been working in the tropics for nearly eight years now, it’s lost a bit of it’s charm. If you can imagine New Orleans in June but hotter, you get the idea. Two helpful tips if you care to travel there for some reason. DO NOT GO FROM DECEMBER TO FEBRUARY… it’s miserable hot and oh my god rainy. Another tip… get out of Cairns… the beach there is mud and most of the surrounding towns are less touristy. Not as smelly hippies either.

After checking into my hotel (and feeling a tad raped about the whole thing) I look for something that doesn't resemble airline food in any way. Australians make this challenging to do on less than $25. I first went to Australia in 1995 and back then on US dollar would get you at least two Australian dollars. A hotel that cost you $100AUD would be around $40USD and that is reasonable for a muggy, slightly moldy and occasionally buggy hotel room. Now the exchange rate is about $1.07USD to $1AUD and the prices haven’t changed except to go up. Bear in mind I don’t generally do less than three stars. In regard to the muggy, moldy and slightly buggy room, everything in the tropics is like this so it isn’t meant to be disparaging to the Aussies. Generally they are good, fun loving and honest people… even the hippies I guess. The puzzlement about Australian hotels is the bathrooms. Generally there isn’t a basin for the bottom of the shower; they have a “wet” floor. All the shower water runs to a central drain in the middle of the bathroom floor. Crazy I know but it’s true. A hotel might have a very nice tile or marble counter top with a nice drawer system built into it… with all the plumbing exposed and no way to shut the water off if the tap breaks off in your hand. You can shut the power off six ways to Sunday but not water.

Plug in a teapot when you get there. Once you get the plug into the outlet, there is a switch next to the outlet, a switch on the pot and a switch on the handle that kicks off when the water boils. There is also a circuit breaker in the room generally in case you want another option. One of these may be admitted but generally this is the process. Water? If the tap’s screwed… so are you.

After checking in it’s off to find a bite to eat that doesn’t resemble airline food. It seems the most common Australia tucker is roast lamb or beef of some sort and generally bland as an old shoe and if you’re luck only half as tough. A friend of mine told me that the best Australian food is ethnic food. You can get pretty decent and authentic Italian, Asian and Indian food. Under no circumstance, even in your boldest moment try Mexican, wholly disappointing. I’ve had better Mexican food in Bali for god’s sake. After eating I generally do a bit of shopping, if I’m close. I don’t want to walk more than six or eight blocks in that humidity. It just pours off of me and I’m soaked in a very short period of time. Toward the end I get a bottle or two of wine and head back to my room for some a/c and a shower… again. You can get pretty decent wine in Australia. The beer is lager and if you like sweetish slightly off beers, almost Lambic beer then give it a shot. It packs a punch and it quite filling. The wine is generally good like I said and much more reasonable than beer. They have a nasty habit of mixing a cabernet with say a Merlot or Shiraz, where or why I don’t know. I have a feeling they have a lot of cabernet around that’s not selling.

The booze is medicinal. After all that time on an airplane and you want to stay up until at least sundown else your sleeping schedule with be all whacked out. Get bombed… pass out around 10pm… stay up to see the fruit bats flying past the window, though. I’m still amazed by those big buggers and the sheer numbers of them. Off to Papua New Guinea tomorrow so you need some sleep.