Te Anau

Te Anau

14 February 13, 2010

I drove down to Te Anau today. Nice drive. I saw some “domestic” elk. I don’t know of any other country other than New Zealand that raises elk for meat on farm… fairly domestically.

I left Balclutha in a drizzle which was disappointing as the morning had so much promise. The drizzle soon turned ominous as angry clouds filled the sky, naturally, to the direction I was heading. Hopefully this wasn’t an omen. I’ve rarely seen omens. I suspect things are omens from time to time as any true pessimist might but rarely to they truly portend anything unless I let them. As omens go I’m sure there are those that are more worth than others. Black cats, for instance, naturally a bad omen. They never worked out that way for me as far as I can remember but you I never poke fate in the face with a stick if I can help it. I have tempted ladders. I mean if they are in your path and the only reasonable way around them in under them, then why not. Honestly, who can ever say that a ladder has caused them a great deal of harm? The ladder thing has lost its oomph over the years, you have to admit. Black cats on the other hand… well that’s just common sense really. Spilled salt is another one that it is best just not to mess with. Take it from me… why take the chance, just throw a bit over your shoulder… what harm can it do? Dark clouds on the horizon are a certain omen of bad fortune… it is very likely to rain and that is a fact no one can deny, superstitious or not. The clouds did bring rain but not so much that it spoiled the day.

On arrival at Te Anau, the weather was warm and pleasant. The omen did prove itself out though. My cheap rental car’s trunk leaks. Now I must do two circles, counter clockwise while holding my nose to ward off the evil eye. Hey don’t judge, I didn’t make the rules.

As I drove through Gore, Clinton and a whole slew of places I can’t pronounce I came upon the verdant, undulating field and they caused me pause… not much, just enough to wonder why the sheep were so damned white and what sort of git uses the words verdant and undulating in the first place. The time is long past where verdant has ever cause to be used in the modern vocabulary even literary or poetically. I mean really… how many people actually know what verdant means? Undulating they get, thanks to Daniel Steel I’m sure but at least that is still in use. All the same… it does sort of work for these particular fields. I have to wonder what the geography was like prior to Europeans terra-forming it to something more similar to Ireland or Scotland. Possibly verdant, but certainly undulating I’m sure.

In due course I passed a scenic preserve boasting of an apparently rare red tussock. To be sure, I’ve rarely heard of the tussock in general much less the red which I have to assume is an infinitely more rare variety. I believe the demise of the tussock came around about the time of the diminished paddock for surely one is most rare without the other.

Eventually I passed the verdant hills, the angry and brooding clouds and ventured even passed the famed tussocks and made my way to Te Anau. Te Anau reminds me a bit of someplace akin to a Bavarian village or perhaps a mountain village Ansel Adams might have stayed in while photographing the Sierras. I can almost see model T Fords mucking about in the streets. Of course there are the latte shops and pizza parlors and at least three ATM machines in the few blocks I walked plus two internet shops… one in a laundry which is a clever idea. The place is quaint but I have to warn you I can piss you off. It did me. I don’t like touristy and Te Anau is a bit touristy. Not badly, the Kiwis seem to have managed the fine art of giving gift shops a legitimate place without seeming tacky. The place is crowded, so crowded in fact that I almost had to turn around to find a hotel in another town, which would have put a crimp in my fishing plans. As it is “T” town as I shall now call it, may yet be a bit far. We’ll see tomorrow. How dare they not have a room for me, don’t they know who I am? Sadly I’m traveling incognito this trip. Had they known I was coming, I’m sure they would have saved me a room. I have a good bit of information for you. The next time you are in New Zealand and looking for a room and there seems to be none. Go to an “I” site. I must mean information but they do all sorts of booking from ferries between the North Island and the South Island to room bookings. I did find a place to stay. Time will tell if it was a good one but after all the mangers I’ve stayed in, bugs are sort of common place. I shall soon see if this place has bugs as well.

In fact I’m in a backpacker joint. I’m not sure if it is appropriate to call all backpackers hippies or all hippies backpackers but there are some striking similarities such as lack of a job or decent hygiene. I have to confess I’m a bit jaded on this topic and possibly quite biased and probably ill-informed.

I’m not sure when it all started but hostels have been around for years and years in Europe. Kids after “high school” but before university and come from reasonably well off parents are armed with a backpack, some clean linen (to stave off bed bugs and other body vermin), the basics in clothes and an allowance, generally modest enough to bring them home is a few months, set off in search of adventure, sex and booze and generally a good time. These parents with their good intentions send their little ones off to see the world. It was generally Europe in the early years and now pretty much global with the possible exception of the Americas. I haven’t heard much about the hostel scene in the US. There are a few but the public transportation system isn’t so advanced and hostels seem pretty spread out if in existence at all. I suspect hippies started it all with their Katmandu trail and destinations in Asia. So in the end, I suppose hippies and backpacker are not so much different.

It is a sin for a backpacker to have money in anything remotely resembling abundance. Apparently hygiene is also frowned upon. I have never been a backpacker so I’m unfamiliar with the specific rules of the fraternity but it seems being smelly, nearly naked and drunk for a large part of their time is a common trait. Perhaps it is a good thing. I’m sure it allows them to be better students and gives them a wider world view. Perhaps that makes them better bankers and insurance salesmen in the future, having sowed their wild oats.

So my backpacker experience, as to this room. $105NZD/3day is certainly better than $150/night from anyone’s point of view, unless there are bed bugs involved or when I have to go take a wee in the middle of the night and forget my keys. I’ll let you know about that tomorrow.

I was at a pub earlier, shocking I’m sure. I was hungry and the restaurants don’t open until 5pm. I had a few beers, sat outside in the chill wind having a cigarette and listening to Charlie Daniels. It always amazes me how American culture or perhaps I should say pop culture travels. I remember being stunned while at a German festival of some sort and finding a German country and western band playing. I wonder if it still translates to the typical theme of “my wife ran off with my dog and took all my stuff so I’m drinking because I miss that dog.” I didn’t speak German well enough to tell for sure.

The hostel turned out to be fine; actually it was a nice clean place to stay if you are on a budget and who besides perhaps Donald Trump and Paris Hilton aren’t. All jaded musing aside. A lot of back packer places are good for families when traveling. Many have separate rooms and facilities for cooking your own meal. I generally associate them with hippies but anyone can stay, many are geared more toward family travelers or budget travelers of all ages. I met a middle aged lady that stays at them almost exclusively when she travels. Many Australians and Kiwi’s prefer to cook their own meals thinking restaurants aren’t healthy, which they probably aren’t. I’m not very domestic so I’m more of a restaurant kind of guy, I can’t see a diet of top ramen nearly exclusively being any health benefit and I wouldn’t want expose my culinary inadequacies to the general public. Besides, why spend my time washing dishes? Hostels can also be a good wholesome place to meet people and talk about your travels, get ideas for different places to go and see or just generally meet someone from other countries and cultures.

New Zealand

February 2010

There are things about this country that make me love it more than home. Perhaps that is biased. I’ve lived in the United States most of my life and I know it intimately. I know its faults and weaknesses as well as become inured to its graces but I know only what I’ve seen in two months of New Zealand.

It seems to me that this is the way the US should have turned out if we hadn’t spoiled it. I know very little of NZ politics so I have to assume that they can’t be nearly as messed up as US politics. I’ve heard Australians talk and if they didn’t mention names you would have thought they were talking about American politics. Perhaps it is the same in NZ.

I’m struck by the small town friendliness and charm of NZ. I personally, like driving small back roads. I would rather drive 55MPH down a back country road than 75MPH down a freeway any day of the week. I can make a few allowances if it might take me longer. All of NZ except for 20min drive in Dunedin and an hour drive in Auckland is back country rural roads. There are numbers to the highways but forget about them… this road is the road from Dunedin to Gore or Invercargill to Te Anau, at least that is the way the signs read. On the edges of the big cities are sheep farms, farm stays and woods to get lost in and even the busiest are easily navigated and little traffic, well modest traffic.

On the roadsides you see happy smiling people. You see the 50ish man and his wife on a bike ride or the kids joking and laughing, walking from one friend’s house to the other. You have to think that happy functioning families make for these scenes. Old friends in cardigans and driving hats walking together deep in conversation on their way to the pub, perhaps, to catch a game of footie over a few pints.

I’m struck at times with the smell of NZ. I’ve been struck by the smell of a place before… perhaps it is a curse but Bangkok is one such place… sewers and over powering exhaust fumes are memorable. Rural Thailand and Indonesia is at times is very beautiful there still is the smell of burning garbage almost everywhere only a little less so in the resorts, I think the air there is imported though. New Zealand has a scent that seems to remind me of home or at least is very comforting in some way. While driving today I noticed the smell of Scotch broom blossoms, fresh grass, pine trees in summer and surf all at once, perhaps some other blossoms too because it was certainly sweet.

The climate is perfect too, bear in mind I’ve only visited in the summer, January and February.

I don’t care much for the tropics any more. I can do without humidity. Like being warm but not waking up sweating… sweating going to breakfast and sitting by the beach sweating isn’t for me. I haven’t been through a winter here but I can tell you from January to mid March are perfect in both the North Island and the South Island. Well, I have to put in a bit of a disclaimer. The west side of the South Island can be and often is foggy and damp and a bit chilly. Hey you are there for the glaciers, what do you expect… palm trees and cabana boys? Every time I’ve been here has been like an early summer day. The North Island is semi-tropical without the grim humidity and the South Island has more extremes. From Dunedin north to Christchurch can be hot and air-conditioning isn’t a norm in hotels; hell heat isn’t a norm either but an afterthought, in most cases, with push out space heaters. I’m not sure what that is about.

For the hunting and fishing enthusiasts, don’t set your hopes too high. I’m not sure how the hunting is but fishing can be quite challenging. Many streams are fly fishing only, as it should be in my opinion, and sometimes there can be a long way between fish. Trout limits are generally around 14inchs so that will give you some clue as to the size of the fish to expect. Don’t bother showing up on any stream that you can’t jump across with 6lb line or less. When you do hook one, they’ll break it off like a kite string in a gale. There are magic spots though. You might have to come back a few time to find the good ones. I’ve seen streams where walking you can spot twenty plus fish over 24inches and some of them are even dumb enough to take a lure, my favorites.

The people are gems too. If there ever was a place where a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet can be true it is here. At the last hotel I was at, the land lady was running around like the pantry was on fire and she had run out of buckets but she still had time to ask me where I was from, how was I enjoying my holiday and passed the time about some going on in town. I checked into my room before she was satisfied with it and as I couldn’t see anything out of place I told her I didn’t see the point of her coming back for a vacuum and scrub, she rented me the suite of two bedrooms, bath, living room and kitchen for $110NZD or $80USD. I was expecting at least $150NZD… very nice place and cheerful lady. I took the last room available and I’m sure she could have charged me a premium as there were few rooms available in town with the sheep shearing competition going on.

There are few places that are truly remote though. You can get there if you try hard enough. If you are a back packer and expect to “tramp” for hours on end and at the end of the day set up a tent and eat freeze dried food and never see a soul for days on end, you can find it… do some research though. It is a small country and a good deal of it is farm land. The joke is that there are 4.9million people in New Zealand and 18million sheep. I suspect the sheep numbers are a bit low but there are also cattle and elk farms too. Generally if you like a drive in Napa or taking the back roads around the rural mid-west or eastern US then you’ll love NZ. If you want a back woods tramp look to the west coast and southern end of the South Island, bring deet… the sand flies are no joke. There are snow covered peaks and glaciers there for the extremists. Me personally, I like a leisurely walk in the pine forests, dipping a line on mountain run rivers, or a look at local wildlife along the beaches then stopping at a comfortable hotel at the end of the day but that’s me and I LOVE New Zealand.

To any who read these words of wit and decide to come I do see a few draw backs. If you wish to see the remote areas and especially the damp ones near rivers, glaciers or the beach then find some local bug repellent and use it frequently! I camped for a night on the Eslington River near Milford Sound and one night was all it took for over 100 sand fly bites. Sand flies are no joke… imagine Alaska mosquitoes only much, much worse. They leave an ungodly welt that itches for a week at least and there is nothing that will stop the itch for more than 20 minutes. The best course of action I’ve found is “Bushman’s” 80% deet, water resistant cream. Strip down to you jocks and put in on every inch of exposed skin… before you need it, reapply if they come close. Sand flies are about the size of a large flea. They’ll crawl under your shirt sleeves and bite through tee shirts, don’t mess around with them, they are the spawn of Satan. Second don’t be afraid to drive on the left side of the road and when you get used to the traffic circles and all the oddities of driving down her (speaking from experience, the locals are patient) get used to driving slow and going to bed early. Generally speaking restaurants are only open at proper eating times. For lunch that means from 11am until 1pm… then they close. For dinner 5pm is early… expect 6ish. There are snack joints that a tourist may not notice. If you are settling for a spell take a walk in the busier areas and see what place might be open when you want to eat. Pretty much everything is closed by 10pm. In the more metropolitan areas all of this is different but the country on the whole closes at 10pm. In the busy time of the year, say February, book rooms ahead if you can or stop early… say before 4pm. There are lots of tourists in certain areas and hotels can book up early. Don’t be afraid to stop at a backpacker or holiday park, if it looks like things are booking up go to an “I” site; they’ll hook you up with a room, a tour or a ferry. Don’t look there for a rental car though, sadly.

Come to New Zealand… you’ll love it.

That’s my two cents worth.

Take care.

Papua New Guinea

Papua New Guinea… to start, a little background.

On half of the island of New Guinea is Papua New Guinea the other half is part of Indonesia called Irian Jaya, now called West Papua. Back in the day of sail boats and Shoguns the area was called the Dutch East Indies; some parts were called the Spice Islands. It was originally “settled” by the Dutch and some German. Mt. Wilhelm will attest to that but I’m sure the locals have a different name for it. After World War II Australia took receivership and managed it until 1975 when they became independent.

The Dutch started plantations to farm Palm Oil, Coconuts and sugar cane and whatever else they could grow and sell. Then they found gold and other minerals and now oil and natural gas. As if things weren’t bad enough. The Dutch enslaved the locals as western countries at the time often did, the Australians weren’t much better. They had strong men that came around and kept order beating the hell out of the locals if they got out of line. One thing that can be said about that is that it did keep order. With over 800 different indigenous languages and tribes, many not far from the Stone Age, I can see their thinking. With the majority of the population earning $1.25/day theft is a way of life. As with many tribal societies… attack, butcher and steal is just another method of hunting and gathering.

World War II was fought on many of the islands here; the battle of the Coral Sea was fought nearby. A bloody fight for the Australians made Kokoda Trail and the fuzzy wuzzys famous. They still find crashed aircraft in the jungle, not long ago one was found near the capital with the crew’s remains still in it. Amelia Earhart was last seen leaving Lae, a WWII refuel depot. I met a local the first time I was here, 15yrs ago now; he said he’d rather eat the Japanese because white guys were too salty. Good to know.

Much of the coastal areas have had contact with the outside world for ages and have become more civilized. In the more remote areas, not so much. It is still reasonably common to hear of tribal skirmishes. Ten years ago it was bush knives and bows and arrows now axes and knives are still common but more and more it is becoming fire arms of one kind or another. Our biggest problem with theft is fuel, gaskets out of fuel hoses that they use for arm band or in their hair, and other small items. Of course, electronics are also nice too. I saw a guy walking down the road the other day with headphones on that were decorated with feathers and bits of grass. There was no cord on it nor did he have an MP3 player or anything to hook it to but apparently he thought he was the height of fashion.

The geography can be split into the highlands and the lowlands… clever enough. Ages ago in the Mezeowachingus era the Pacific plate jammed itself under its neighbor and created a huge ridge line… the crack opened up the area for volcanoes and viola… big honking mountains. I was at a rig sight a few years ago where this was obvious to the most casual observer. A nice gentle slope, broke to a steep cliff and the whole range looked like someone had pushed up ice in a driveway so that the steps and ridges were all visible. At the rig site there were shells and fossil all over the ground and this was around 2000ft. It was pretty interesting to wander around to see what you could find.

Apparently the sea floor is limestone because that is most of what the highlands are made of. Limestone isn’t especially durable, you can watch erosion here, buried water lines become uncovered in a few years, roads don’t hold up, gravel jobs wear out quickly and pot hole are epic. The plundering of the country doesn’t allow much outlay for infrastructure so there are few roads, fewer that are paved none that are reasonably maintained; airstrips are generally dirt or gravel and the most common mode of travel save foot or boat.

The population is Melanesian, a black Pacific race that populates the region from New Guinea in the west to Fiji to the south east. If I had to guess I would suspect that Polynesians came from Melanesian and Asia ancestors. The geography has isolated many tribes so that to this day there are some that haven’t seen white people and there are still rumors of cannibalism. I should note that cannibalism isn’t generally a food source but generally a superstitious belief of either keeping ancestors close or consuming an enemy’s power. Last tour a man was arrested for eating his toddler age step-child in a rumored witchcraft ceremony. He was obviously deranged but it goes to say something about superstitions here. Another village we stayed at we were warned to stay away from a certain tree because demons lived there.

Many airstrips were built by missions and missionaries. The Seventh Day Adventists seem to be the most common currently but there are also Mormons, Jehovah’s Witness and other mainstream religions. The country is predominantly Christian to one degree or another.

Flora is jungle. If you’ve ever seen jungle there isn’t much way of describing it to those that haven’t seen it. Starting from the top… trees, in the trees vines, on the ground more vines and shrubs, on everything mold or moss and everything is wet and every square inch is cover or will be soon. The mountains do get high enough for frost and snow; there is the only glacier in the South Pacific in Irian Jaya. I don’t know what grows up there.

Fauna includes some unique to Papua New Guinea, the Cassowary… a prehistoric bird about the size of an emu but having a bony ridge running down the top of its head. I believe the Bird of Paradise is also unique to PNG too and rare these days. We also have wild cockatoo’s, parrots, a bird they call a pigeon that is about the size of a chicken or duck. There is a tree kangaroo, or possum or cuscus depending on who you ask. Snakes… certainly have snakes. There is the Papuan Black, Brown and probably a few other colors. There is the Death Adder, Boa’s, tree snakes of different varieties. If you ask a local they are all deadly poisonous and commonly called the two steps… two steps and you’re dead. It’s not as bad as all that. The Death Adder certainly will do a number on you as will the Papuan Black and Tai Pan… not sure about the others, certainly not the boa. The death adder is interesting because it is sausage shaped and has a tiny thin tail that has spines on it that was rumored to be poisonous as well but isn’t the case.

Papua New Guinea is an interesting place really. The limestone erodes quickly like I said before and all the rain makes for land bridges and sink holes; rives will take crazy paths and sometimes disappear into the ground to come out miles out to sea. The ground is riddled with caves and underground streams. Rivers create great chasms between incredibly steep mountains. The wet season is signaled by rain firstly and the Forest Flame that burst into bloom.

The people, while primitive and often combative, laugh easily and quickly, are generally friendly after their suspicions are won over and ingenious in their use of the jungles around them. They are mostly the reason it is called “The Land of the unexpected?” Our cooks have mastered garnish; parsley or green onions as garnish to pineapple is pretty unexpected; women nursing pigs is pretty unexpected; stealing our gaskets and wearing them in their hair and arms is pretty unexpected; body odor, the norm… shocking with even the women.

If anyone wants to go… book a tour. It is still rather dangerous for single person travel most especially women. There is some amazing fishing too, for the adventurous. It is certainly off the beat

It’s a silly job but someone has to do it.

Trip into Papua New Guinea

I left off in Cairns, probably a little harsh on the place but a lot of it's luster has worn off for me as has a good deal of Australia but... see for yourself, this is just one man's view after all.

So today I'll try to take you into the "Land of the Unexpected." Sounds nice doesn't it? I can certainly say it is unlike anyplace else I've ever been.

The flight from Cairns is relatively uneventful most of the time. I mean I haven't had to have to swim for it yet, so that's always good. The flight is on a de Havilland Dash 8... a twin engine rickety thing that holds about 37 passengers or so depending how you stack them and apparently requires little maintenance and almost no cleaning at least I assume this to be true because they don't generally get much on the charter we fly in on. Amazing the amount of body odor that can be fit in such a small aircraft. This is the first "taste" of Papua New Guinea. The next taste is the inflight meal. For four years we had soggy sandwich fingers... one bit was salami, butter and tomato, the other bit was curried egg. For some reason I generally ate it. This year it is cold chicken with pasta salad and a bit of lettuce and a roll with butter. It's bland as hell but a step up in my book. I've found that while working over here and knowing how fast plans can change I always try to eat my meals... sometimes you don't get the next one and there aren't any stores where you can pick up something to tide you over. No snacks in the room unless an apple happens your way and you've saved it and the ants haven't gotten to it. Sometimes even if the ants haven't eaten too much its still an option.

The first hint that you have that you are getting close, unless you are timing the flight, is the engines start to slow. Most of the jungle below you either looks all the same or is covered in clouds. Then the pilot comes over the intercom and tells the flight crew to prepare for arrival. Some of the things that run through my mind are..." What? I still can't see the ground. There are mountains around here. I hope the fool knows what he's doing." "Ok, the landing gear just came down and I still don't see the ground, we must really be close to the mountains now." Turbulence..." I hope they haven't found any serious corrosion in the last few inspections because those wing are really moving out there." "Wheww there's the ground... good over the lake, now as long as there aren't any ground bursts we won't have to swim for it." " At least there aren't any mountains over the lake, I think I rather swim for it. If we survive the crash that is." Next landing. One hit... two hits... slowing now... ok on the ground.... whoaa... "I didn't thing here was any wind why are we fish tailing like this." "Ok... now I think we're safe this time. I must remember to make a will one of these days."

I'm not really prone to panic but I've had a few somewhat close calls in airplanes and helicopters over the years and I DO NOT like turbulence any more and I'm not all that trusting of pilots or ground crews in third world countries.
Now this is the newest way of coming to work. In the past I've cleared customs on the hood of a truck in Daru, flown with dead bodies and produce. I've flown all day with nothing to eat but a couple cookies and a small glass of OJ... met kids so full of worms that their guts are extended and hair has gone white from malnutrition and all sorts of the "unexpected".
(next installment PNG it's self)